Hopes

Monday, March 06, 2006

Steel...Am I made of steel...

One has to wonder if one is made of steel that they can go and move in with their inlaws...insanity..One has to be made of steel to make it through the whole ordeal...
Unfortunately I am made of that cheap medal that is on rings..you know the kind that turns your fingers green..he he...Yah..thats me..
I am so tired....I am falling asleep standing up..I finally slept for almost 4 hours on Saturday..After going over 2 weeks with alittle over 10 hours all together..I kid you not..Between my job, my kids, my husband, trying to move out of our apartment, and now starting school again..I am stretched thin..But the school part I am happy about..I feel motivated again..I just wish my computer wasn't a clunck of junk and I could log in..gosh smigetey wigety....I hate computers sometimes..Or maybe they just hate me..

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Big Mistakes

So..this is the deal..me..my husband and my three children are moving in with his parents..Yah..I know..I might as well committ myself to the nut house now..cause if I don't..I am sure someone will have to come and get me off of my mother in law..Yes..we don't exactly like each other..Honestly..I don't really have a problem with her..but she says stuff about me all the time to my husband..She thinks a wife should cook, clean, take care of the children..and all a husbands job is..is to sleep, eat, work and shit...That is it..No nothing else..Sorry..mamma..but I GREW up in a home where all was equal..My dad worked..played with us..cleaned the house..was always helping my mom out..I have a wonderful childhood..My mom was alittle nutty at times..but then again I wasn't exactly an angel..But all in all I had to what may seem to some..is a "blessed" life..Or lucky..Many people haven't been so fortunate..But when God is at the center of you life and you put him first before all else..he will bless you and your family abundantly..
But..yah..my mother in law has no room to talk..her house is nasty..I feel like vomiting everytime I go over there..I feel bad talking to my husband about it..because that is his mother..but come on lady..clean you house..they have gave their dog "wrinkles" a bath in over ten years..I kid you not..My kids would get flea bites on there backs from playing on her floors..she has dust everywhere..she has stuff everywhere..And I mean everywhere..All she does is wash the dishes and do laundry..and every thing else goes to pot..I speak the truth..It is straight up disgusting..
I can't believe she has the nerve to say anything about me..
But I think my husband vents to his mother about me from time to time.
But of course he won't admit it. I know what your are thinking..WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU THINKING MOVING INTO THAT WOMENS HOUSE..I don't know..Mainly it would help us catch up before moving into our own home..thing is..I dont know if I want to stay in this area..so why am i considering buying a home here..Heck if I know..I don't know what I am doing anymore or what I want..Truthfully..I DON'T even know if I want to be married anymore..I love my husband to death..and really don't want to be with anyone else..truthfully..but hes changed alot. Like I said..he puts his mother and her stupid opinions before me..and I have warned him..it will be the end to us..if you keep it up..I will not tolerate that women and her negativity..my parents are supportive..and objective always..pointing out both sides of the picture..We used to live in my home state..Then we moved to his home state..and since hes been on his own turf he has grown a few sets of balls...I love a man who can stand up to me..but to disrespect me..oh hell no..I guess only time can tell if this moving thing will split us up..I believe that if we can get through this..in one piece..we can do anything..and be together. But if he disrespects me just once in front of his family..I am out of there..I TOLD him this as well. We will see..

Monday, February 20, 2006

Dream Not

Do you ever wonder why people tell you to dream big and don't loose sight of your dreams..or don't be afraid to dream..or my favorite..dreams can come true..That is a classic...
But then when you verbally realease a dream..they're like.."are you sure you want to do that"...Geez....